October 23, 2018

When I was pregnant with my first born, Eden, I had such high hopes that I would be that wanderlusting mum with a new born, taking him wherever I go.

But to my dismay, it didn’t go according to plan.

‘Why?’
Well, Eden has eczema.

‘So?’
He won’t enjoy traveling as much as I will until it subsides.

‘Other people can jua...’
.
.
.
Why has this...

September 20, 2018

I've kept telling myself, 

'Da, you're just being hypersensitive'

'Da, you're being irrational'.

Yet, as much as I'm doing my best to rationalise every situation, may it be big or small, I just can't help it.

I knew I've been experiencing post-partum/antenatal depression and anxiety ('meroyan' as Bruneians called it). Up to this day wh...

December 10, 2017

Know your worth

People, we can never stop them from criticising and judging. Let it be strangers, acquaintances, friends, frenemies and even family.

I can’t measure the level of severity I’ve been judged, but I’m very sure it will never go away no matter what I’ll do.

Da, sexy jua..

I covered myself up

Da, nda ngam usul mu catu’ (do...

August 7, 2017

Eden came to the world earlier than expected. 



First reaction I was getting, shocked.



Then afraid.



Finally, 'oh my God, it's happening.. I'm finally meeting the little guy soon!'



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We live in a world of social media that sometimes people may ask/state things which is insensitive to receivers.



I have encounter...

June 9, 2017

The closer I'll be getting to meet my mini boyfriend, the more nervous I'm getting.

Will I be strong enough to go through labor?
How will my husband and I be as parents?
Will this miracle really change my priorities forever?

No matter how much I've kept on reminding myself to be mentally set for anything, no human being can ever be pre...

April 16, 2017

The only way that I'll completely get rid of my stuff at my parents' place is to secretly get rid of them myself behind their backs.

It is a cultural norm in our society to keep our belongings as much and as long as possible. The culture comes from the older generations where they kept hold of things as obtaining them were difficult...

March 9, 2017

There was a time, when I was misunderstood, I kept on going explaining myself trying to convince people that I did or act on certain situation with good intentions.

As much as I tried to convince them, if they already committed to misunderstand, there is a very slim chance that they will ever see it otherwise.

People-pleasing occasio...

December 30, 2016

There was a period in between that I wasn't putting too much hope to conceive a child of my own.

And it wasn't because I have had health complications. No, no.

It was the time that I had stopped hoping for a soulmate and if I live my life as a singleton, so be it. If I'm single, well, obviously, no baby will be popping out from me a...

December 29, 2016

I was never good at receiving surprises. Not even now.

My body felt severe fatigue for two days. The doctor wasn't too sure what caused it except stress, gave me some prescriptions and I took the two days off work.

The next following day, it happened again. I was confused, stressed and scared.

'What is wrong with me?'

I went back to t...

December 12, 2016

I was one out of million singles who had stopped looking and started to self improve.

My greatest escape from my temptation to be held by a significant other was diverted to cultural and self discovery through travelling.

The sights, the taste, the physical and emotional feels I have experienced through out those years of being singl...

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